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My Son Wears Dresses: You Curious?

By Erica Ehm

My son likes to wear dresses. There, I’ve said it. Since he was a toddler, he’s been attracted to all things beautiful. At dress up parties, while the boys were putting on evil monster costumes, my son got lost in the pastel colours and silky fabrics of princess gowns. It was cute. When he turned five, it became uncomfortable.

If you knew me at all, you’d know I am the most liberal, free spirited person in North Toronto. I cherish my son’s individual taste and his well-developed imagination. His penchant for pretty said to me he had a highly developed esthetic sensibility. I believe my son has the makings of an artist.

Around me, the reactions were very different. Clusters of family members began to display discomfort for my son’s preferences. What started as whispers amongst each other became a series of warnings. I was told I was “damaging Josh by letting him wear dresses. I was confusing him. I was turning him gay”. The situation was getting ugly and spiraling out of control.

The rest of the family was appalled at this attitude. They were more concerned with my son’s wellbeing. “He’s just expressing himself. It’s just a stage. It will pass”.

Battle lines were drawn. My husband and I were caught in the middle.

Josh knew something was up. He had been told several times from “helpful” family members that dressing up was inappropriate for a boy. He did it anyway. But there was an increasing secrecy in his behaviour accompanied by anxiety. I was worried.

My husband was torn. Half of him wanted my son to feel free to express himself. But there was a greater concern that his son display more male behaviour. That’s when our fights started. My son’s love of dresses started to affect our family dynamic and our marriage. We had to take some action.

I asked around amongst my yummy mummy girlfriends, and a child psychologist was highly recommended. A month later my husband and I sat in her office, a box of Kleenex close at hand.

After hearing about our emotionally charged situation, she spoke. “Your son needs to stop wearing dressing immediately.” I was shocked. “What? What about his imagination? His individuality? His love of all things beautiful?” I grabbed another Kleenex .

She explained that one of the ways children understand their place in society is the way they dress. At his age, wearing dresses isn’t socially acceptable behaviour and warned he would likely become a pariah amongst his school friends. The fact that he was anxious while dressing girly also didn’t sit well with her. What he needed, she prescribed, was for us to give him firm guidelines with an explanation. To satisfy his artist self, she suggested we provide Josh with a box of art materials so he can design, draw and write about dresses to his hearts content. Female clothing was fine as long as it was on paper and not on his body

I wiped my tears, my husband drew a sigh of relief and we went home to chat with him.

“Josh”, I said, paraphrasing the psychologist’s words. “What would you think if you saw a fireman wearing a dress? Or, what if your teacher wore her pajamas to school? You’d think that’s strange, right? We wear clothes so people understand who we are. You’re a boy so you need to wear boy’s clothes. So no more dresses, ok?”

I swear I saw relief pass over his face. He smiled, said, “OK”, and jumped off the bed. It was that simple.

It’s been two months and Josh hasn’t gone near a dress since. He’s happier, less moody and more playful. And so am I.

PS, If anybody out there needs some slightly used princess dresses size 6, let me know

Author site: Erica Ehm | View all articles by

Topics: Lifestyle, Yummy Mummy | 57 Comments »

57 Responses to “My Son Wears Dresses: You Curious?”

  1. Joel Steel Says:
    January 31st, 2008 at 8:50 pm

    If girls can wear both dresses and pants, boys can too. Let and encourage your sone to wear dresses.

  2. Julia Says:
    June 8th, 2008 at 9:41 am

    Again society forces it’s “norms” upon a young mind. Who’s to say what’s right, and what’s wrong?! BE YOURSELF. LET YOUR KIDS BE THEMSELVES.

  3. Arlene Says:
    July 26th, 2008 at 8:10 am

    I agree with others who commented.

    What therapist in the world out there is going to tell you that your daughter has to wear a dress and it not allowed to climb trees. Heaven forbid!

    But for my son to not get to wear a dress or play with a barbie, even when it’s just around us, is considered wrong? I’m sorry. Has anyone ever heard of “double standards”?

    My son is a Speed Racer fanatic. He also loves Nancy Drew (one of his fav movies). He is a Scooby fan and has played every character but Scooby. I think that if he wants to pretend to be some of his favorite characters, male or female, that he should have the freedom to do so without persecution from small minded people, such as your therapist.

  4. Sid Porter Says:
    September 29th, 2008 at 10:13 pm

    You know in a few more years you will see more and more male models in skirts and dresses just as soon as the clothing industry figures out a way to make a dress that a male will look good in,and sell the fashon trend to the general public.It is only a matter of time, and the general outlook of “norms” will shift. hey what the hell on a nice warm breezy spring day in an open bottom garment sounds like very coumfortable fun.

  5. jeff Says:
    December 2nd, 2008 at 9:12 pm

    i belive that most guys that like to wear ladies clothes..ARE NOT GAY!!!! people should do what they want! for a guy its probaily best to find a female friend to go out with in drag. ladies clothes are just a turn on for some guys..and mabey find it easier to talk to women that way. this world needs to be more accpecting of each other!!! THERE ARE MUCH BIGGER PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD!!

  6. Cathy Says:
    December 7th, 2008 at 12:29 am

    My son is almost 5 and LOVES anything that has to do with princesses, flowy, beautiful dresses, and anything feminine.

    He plays with trucks too but would much rather look at the pretty things that girls have.

    I am so worried about people teasing him and find that the girls tend to be worse than most boys and he has a harder time with the girls criticism.

    He has recently started taking his barbies to school with him and I asked if they tease him and he said “not much” but he doesn’t care.

    I worry but I am starting to think that maybe he will become one of the most famous fashion designers ever as he has excellent taste!

  7. kerry proud mum of jack Says:
    May 3rd, 2009 at 9:22 am

    My very gorgeous 5 yr old son jack loves his barbies.
    He has always loved ‘barbie’ and all dolls simalar, he loves troll dolls because they seem more NORM.
    He loves Dora, He loves to play playstation games where he gets a choice of beibg the girl or boy player and my son JACK, who is normal and built physically in ever way as a strong masculine muscular boy, always picks the girl as himself to play the games.
    He recently had an “all about me” folder come home from school.
    On one particular page it had in writing “and in my house i like to’ then you opened the pasted doors to the drawen house and Jack wrote ‘Play with my dolls’
    My mother found it funny as a thing to keep when Jack turned 18.
    Everybody else in the family found it amusing also a bit uncomfortable.
    I didnt know how to react,my gorgeous boy , who many people said is too pretty to be a boy, is trully now my worry.
    From 2 yrs of age he has love dolls, fairies, girls pretty things and especially long hair.
    He used to and sometimes still does put teatowels or long pants on his head to pretend he has long hair.
    We showed him pictures of male models with long hair to let him know boys can have long hair too.
    It didnt realy matter because he really love girls lng hair.
    his little brother who is 11mths younger than Jack gets angry with him and tells him to stop putting the dress ups on and the clothing used for long hair,Jack gets embarrased and tries to make up fantasy stories to his younger brother as excuses for his dressing up.
    he is a strong boy who is also interested in boys thinga but girls things is what he loves best
    He is our son and no matter what he choices to be in life, i am here for him no matter what
    i love my son for who he is and ho ever he choses to be.

  8. John Rothko Says:
    May 3rd, 2009 at 11:19 am

    Freedom of expression helps to unleash the creative powers we all posses but often cannot develop due to cultural taboos.
    Your son is lucky to have you as an understanding mother, Kerry.
    I don’t think you need to worry about your him too much, except that I would make clear to his brother that he has to stop pestering him about this because that might force Jack into living a lie.

  9. Amy Says:
    June 24th, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    I’m so glad I read your article. My son loves to wear dresses and loves everything beautiful too. Being a Christian, I strongly believe, a boy should be a boy. So I told him only girls wear dresses and boys should not wear dresses. He still loves dresses and everything princess related. But he knows those are girl stuff. And I told him that when he grows up, he will marry a beautiful princess.

  10. Amanda Says:
    August 23rd, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    I’m a step-mom with a 9 yr old step son who lives with us weekends. I’d have no problem if he wanted to wear dresses, be girly, etc. Problem is, he doesn’t, but his mother wants him to. No, that’s not right… she insists. Buys him very girly clothes (for home, not for school thank heavens), keeps his hair way too long for a boy, and has been known to curl it. Poor kid, just wants to be a boy, but she won’t let him. I wonder how it will all turn out.

  11. Jay Says:
    October 3rd, 2009 at 2:59 am

    Hey if your son likes and wants to wear dresses whats the big deal mlaes should be allowed to wear whatever they want wonmmen sure do and they have been doing this for 70 plus yeras noone makes a big deal about them crossdressing but giys in skirts dresses slips and want to wear and to be more feminine no you still can not do this this is all terrible wrong what a guy wants to wear is really noones elses busniess!

    so your sone wants to dress up like a girl and to be much more gilry gilr so what they are far wrose things in this old world he could be sadistic and want to be hurnting stuff which only leads to far worse when he become and is forced to be mlae which he very problay does not realy want to be nayway so let him dress as he wants and if and when he comes to you and says he likes being a girl well then let him be what he is suppose to be above all do no put him down this only hurts and confuses far more maybe he really is just one of the girls only he can really decide this all you can do is encourage it there is no crime with wanting to be female none whatsoever just what society dumps on you that’s about the whole of it really!

  12. jim Says:
    October 16th, 2009 at 11:32 pm

    I think you should let the boy explore it not going to hurt anyone but your clothes and they can be washed. its better than having him out killing or raping girls, ain’t it?

  13. robert Says:
    October 17th, 2009 at 4:54 am

    The fact that little boys like to dress-up or play with dolls is new. Most boys at 5 or 6 don’t know the sexual differences (not physical), and these are not displayed on toy dolls (barbie/G I Joe). However if a boy of 9 or higher likes to wear dresses it could be because they are transgendered or intersexed. no amount of talking will suppress this and may actually lead to more bad behavior. Talk to your son, learn from him why he likes to wear dresses or skirts, watch his behavior around other children. Is he more friendly with girls than boys (odd for most 9 yr olds). Is he more reserved or less boisterous. these are questions you, as the parent, need to resolve first.

  14. Jay Says:
    December 2nd, 2009 at 5:14 pm

    now let me get this strainght you had to ask a doctor about how your sone wants to be i really fail to see why this was nessary at all the kid would know how he wants to be kids know how it feels and what it is like to be different because they are not dumped on yet but if you question him now it may just backfire on you later when he comes to a realization that girls are better then boys in a whole lot of wasy and not jsut the clothing although that can also make a huge difference

    i really fail to see why a mlae must be restriced from being whi and what and how he feels he should be

    why is it that we are still letting society dictate to us how we should dress girls and women have had the rights for decaeds now on dress but let a male put on feminine clothing and he is outcast just how fair is that

    i mean really think on it mlaes in feminine clothing which really only mkase real sense the clothing is far more comfortable for males skirts dreses slips panties for males and even when they are children hey why do we have to restaict how and male and or female is let the kid do what he wants if and when he wants to wear drseses let him!

    i know i would not have been so confused as i still am if i had only told someone when i was littel that i wated to wear girly girl coths come on let us be who and what and how we are!

    i love wearing girls cloths and it is only to right to be allowed to do so

    i say we take it to the limit and jsut beyond then and only then will males ever be truly free more later!

  15. Wayne (A.K.A) Amanda Says:
    December 14th, 2009 at 10:45 pm

    this is coming from a transgendered person. as a kid i was very depressed because I was raised by my father and mother who are old fashion when it comes to gender. Im am a boy on the outside but on the inside I am a sweat girl. and my parents never understood that. every time i would start becoming feminine they would push more boys things at me. And this was hurting me emotionally. But i would go and stay at my cousins house on the weekends and weeks at a time during the summer. there i was free to be the girl i wanted to be.

    Now that was my childhood. I am now a person who has confined himself/herself to my room. Im am very depressed cause i never got to express the real me to my parents.

    Now on to your son. I think its great for him to like female things. and i think he should dress how he wants. here is a little bit of history for you. back in the 1800s boys his age wore dresses and this carried on till the early 1900s. so i say why not. girls get to wear. what every they like. but if a boy wears a dress now days stop the presses. What the problem today is people are afraid of change. and whats different from the norm. Now let me bring up a little story of a little girl named jaz. she is 8 years old and could not be more happy cause her parents let her become a girl full time. She is one of my idols. you should really check out the 20-20 special on her and a few other transgender kids.

  16. Robert Says:
    December 30th, 2009 at 9:06 am

    Boys have been wearing dresses or skirts here in the U.S. up til the early 1940’s (histclo.com). Most were little boys up to age 8 or 9, but there were some that went up into their early teens. Look on the internet (youtube, flickr, etc) and you will see a lot of boys wearing them, both inside their homes and out in public. They are not being forced to do this either. So what’s the big deal?
    Actually skirts are a more appropriate style of clothing for boys or men. Since they are worn on the hip and drape to the knee or longer (except mini-skirts). They allow for greater movement since most men or boys have a longer stride then females. Skirts also give the same coverage as a boys/mans pair of shorts. Utilikilts are probably the best since they have cargo pockets, a fly and add a little more comfort. Most womens skirts don’t have pockets sewn into them, usually just the denim skirts.
    So as you can determine I support skirts for boys or men. Guys should not have to go to the womens sections of department stores in order to but a skirt. The other thing it would give boys/men an option of a skirt and a t-shirt or a polo style shirt that would go or match what they are wearing. This would add to rather then replace the usual limited styles (pants, shorts, shirts) that guys are restricted to. For instance a man or a boy in a khaki skirt, yellow polo shirt, crew socks and sandals would look just as good as if they were dressed in a similar shorts outfit.

  17. Charles Says:
    January 10th, 2010 at 10:39 pm

    Child psychologists are DANGEROUS. In Jr. high I was “diagnosed” as “mentally ill” because my socks weren’t an exact match. The mental “health” movement took the place of The Holy Roman Catholic Inquisition & the Protestant Witch Hunts. Ask that “woman” how her degree gives her immunity from “mental illness,” I dare you. No real physician claims his degree immunizes him from any illness. There is an exhaustively researched 33,753 word pdf at the url I list explaining to folks like #9 Amy how confused the Church is about clothes. Get this straight—skirts & trousers are not sex differences because they are only about having a waist & legs—anatomy common to both sexes. Bras & athletic supporters are sex differences. Boys in dresses in not unchristian, she only reasons by association to reach that “conclusion.” Meantime these “serious Christians” have their 11 year old daughters in blue jeans and have no regard for the “respect of persons” they practice. They want a MONOPOLY on skirts because of selfishness and THAT is a sin. If I had a son he’d be given the choice to wear skirts and I’d encourage him to do gymnastic feats of strength like the Iron Cross on still rings a REAL sex difference because females can almost never accomplish it. Someone is also forgetting that Roman soldiers wore SKIRTS and had no notion of being effeminate. You can’t arrogate style freedom to the female sex!!

  18. Robert Says:
    January 14th, 2010 at 9:32 am

    I once again see nothing wrong with boys wearing dresses or skirts. I’ve worn them since i was 11 yrs. of age. There is an alternative, especially if your concerned with him (your son) exposing himself since most boys don’t have a clue as to how to wear them or even sit in them. What is that you say. Well at marcus uniforms they sell skorts in 3 colors (non feminine) in sizes from 5 to 20.5. The cost is reasonable at $7 each. Skorts have built in shorts in matching colors. You should try this as an alternative to wearing regular skirts.

  19. Sven Says:
    January 17th, 2010 at 10:41 am

    Boys wearing skirts and dresses, disgusting. Whatever next, girls wearing pyjamas, jeans, trousers, and socks. All male clothing when I was a boy.

    In our household I wear the skirts and my wife and daughter wear the trousers. Why? Well I dislike my package being squashed and sweaty when I’m sat down. I also like the aesthetics and feel of skirts.

    I currently have on a lightweight wool kilt, full slip, long socks, cotton underpants, T shirt and a fleece jumper. The full slip gives a bit of extra warmth and feels nice against my legs and stops the wool itching. It has a nice bit of lace at the hem. Just because I’m a man doesn’t mean I don’t find lace pretty.

  20. Judy Says:
    April 29th, 2010 at 5:29 pm

    You are all talking about dresses. It’s not just the dresses. It’s the pretty dresses. It’s wearing the dresses that makes a little boy feel feminine. It’s a pre-adolecent boy who likes girls clothes that are “nasty”, and they don’t know why. Who knows what will happen. No therapist can tell you what to do. There is no cut and dry situation. One thing is for sure. A little boy who identifies with being a girl is confused, feels different, and needs to be understood. I am the parent of a 9 year old boy – who is a typical boy sometimes, but when we are home, in the confines of our home…he wants to wear unusual outfits that satisfy this urge – which who knows what or how it is. All I know is that my son could turn a rectangle piece of fabric into a halter, a skirt, a shawl, a dress and a midriff. He has a style – repressed as it may be. I will not encourage him, but I will not ever make him feel like he is doing anything wrong. I will tell him that it is important to understand that it is different than the norm, and that often makes people mean. I never stop telling him how much I love him. If he grows out of it, his life will no doubt be easier. If he becomes happy without hurting anyone, I will be thrilled. I wish this could be easier, and I wish there was an answer, but there are only parents that can find comfort in eachother – knowing how difficult this is to work out. My son will never question the love of his parents – no matter what he becomes…and as long as he’s loved, I will have done the right thing.

  21. Andrew Says:
    June 20th, 2010 at 5:25 am

    I am a 13 year old boy, but I like wearing clothes related to the opposite gender. What people say that when a guy puts on an article of clothing for females they immediatly become gay and must die, is all an obstruction invented by this corrupt society, and corupt society is what REALLY must die. My Phycologist accepts my need to dress up. the so called “phycologist” you appointed your son/daughter to is actually a big fat lifeless bastard who only cares about money. that is the norm of corrupt social ideals. My decision to you, Let yourt soon be your daughter, let him dress up, let him become a her. I have a few friends at school who know my need to dress up and keep it secret, thats the true caring society that must replace the hateful corrupt society!

  22. GayGod Says:
    August 11th, 2010 at 11:36 am

    i think when you said you saw a relief over his face, i think he was feeling better because it would stop the tension between your family, i think keeping him from what he loves to do isnt healthy, if that is who he is then he should be able to do what he wants with his life and self, those doctors dont know what they are talking about and they all pretty much go by old school scociety.

  23. vinnie Says:
    August 20th, 2010 at 7:02 pm

    hi I am a 17 Year old Boy and I like to dress as a girl and wear make up but my mum, and dad don’t like it when I dress as a girl and my mum walked in the front door one day when I had a bra, pantys, a dress, and make up on. my mum told me to go wash it off right a way and to get rid of my girls clothing in the clothing bin, what she did not know until quite recently was that I keep the clothing and hit it but still used them from time to time.
    about a week ago my mum found my stase of girls clothing and I got in a lot of truble.
    if you have any way I can solve this problem please email me at world.war@hotmail.com

  24. admin Says:
    August 21st, 2010 at 6:58 am

    I feel with you Vinnie, it is hard to have a mother who does not understand your needs.

    If anyone has a solution for him, email him please. He can use all the support in the world!

  25. Charles Says:
    September 29th, 2010 at 3:33 pm

    It’s a tough situation for everyone, but no more so than for the boy himself, as it is his life he has to live, and not to sound trite, he has to live it ALL his life. No one else can do it for him.

    There is (recognized or not) a battle of egos and personalities going on here. His, the parents, and societal pressures. So we have to make a decision as to what the TOP priority is here. Is it the child’s lifetime happiness and mental well-being? Is it “conformity” to others will power agos, and expectations? Is it the parents’ comfort and desire to to “fit in” and not be criticised by family, friends, peers, teachers, or preachers?

    In the short term (in terms of years of a whole life), It would be easier and more comfortable to most all the adults if the boy was forced out of his feminine likes and desires. But the price paid, mentally, on the child in question could be emense, in terms of mental well-being for the rest of his life.
    Many such children with gender “differences”, take to suicide eventually because of problems of lack of acceptance.

    So once again, what is TOP priority here? The lifetime happiness of a human being or the ego satisfaction of various non-tolerant adults?

    How can I talk about this? Because I’ve been there, and suffered all that for all my life except possibly for my first five or six years. Being a child raised by an intolerant Victorian generation, and tough religious upbringing made a lifetime of misery of not being able to express or be my true self. Often genuinely very mentally painful, and I still remember the pain.

    Those who haven’t lived such a life of such intolerance and suffering probably will never really understand what it is like. Consider this when making a deciscion for someone else, especially a child.


  26. bill Says:
    October 7th, 2010 at 9:33 am

    don’t worry so much about it. i started wearing dresses and skirts about 3 years ago and i’m in my late 30’s. i’m a professional man. i’m safe and my wife thinks it is okay, too. sometimes we go shopping for dresses and skirts together. mind you, i don’t wear them in public.

  27. Denise Peterson Says:
    October 28th, 2010 at 5:21 pm

    The pope wears a dress, angels wear dresses, in mid-evil times men wore very pretty petticoat type coat dresses, 2000 years ago all men wore dresses and skirts and the public thought nothing of it because it was not an issue, but your little boy’s life is very important and he needs to have the freedom of expression not based on the public’s idea of what it thinks is the truth but rather on the actual truth itself. The public does not have the truth so why listen to them? If the public jumped off the bridge would you send your male child off the bridge too? Too much importance is being place on issues that have no meaning and is of no importance and has no spiritual benefit to the individual child. Whether a child or anyone wears a dress or a skirt or pants should not be of anyone else’s concern because it is not up to others to dictate what we wear! Don’t put value and worth on monitory things that don’t benefit anyone spiritually, monitory things can’t get you into heaven so why act like they can? Also, few people today can accept the truth, but the fact is that in today’s society, exotic pollutants of industry are changing the very DNA of people so that the children being born today are not atomically correct…girls being born with penis and boys being born with vaginas, it is happening more often these days plus high rates of cancers and exotic mutations making the children do most of the suffering for the sins of the parents/adults…the very people who are in charge of producing those exotic chemicals actually are causing problems like these which are hurting children everywhere! It goes deeper than that but that’s another sad story. Anyway, the bottom line is why complicate your child’s life by teaching him that what you wear is more important than Love, beauty, kindness, joy, freedom of expression, life itself? It is abusive to place unreasonable hypocritical restrictions on your children! If boys wants to go to school wearing skirts or dresses then why not? Children of 2000 years ago wore nothing but skirts and dresses! Give your sons a break and get real about it and stop confusing and abusing your children! By placing restrictions on your sons you are making them become afraid of their feminine side which causes many problems for them when they become adults and as adults they get jobs making exotic chemicals that only serve to hurt innocent people plus future generations of children! Get real guys! It’s a no-brainer! Wake up!

  28. Denise Peterson Says:
    November 17th, 2010 at 11:32 pm

    Men Wearing Skirts…

    Medically speaking, sperm is degraded when the testicles become too warm, also, bacteria
    thrive in hot environments, so with this in mind I asked the obvious question of why men
    aren’t wearing skirts or kilts or dresses? The man wears hot pants or jeans all day at work
    then he comes home to take care of his wife with bacteria infested genetiles plus degraded
    sperm. The wife can’t get pregnant but does catch a disease from her husband because he
    has transferred his bacteria plus his degraded sperm to his wife. If she does happen to get
    pregnant then their baby is born with various problems. One of those problems can be a
    gender disorder. But as their child grows the parents notice gender type of problems.
    Heaven forbid that such a thing could happen so the parents blame their child, even shame
    them and in some cases disowning their own child. This is a sad state of events that
    continues to occur in this day and age! The real truth about this is kept from the general
    public and of course is not taught in schools yet this is an issue that is accelerating
    at an alarming speed. But who suffers the most from this? The children! Your own flesh
    and blood! All because the parents bought into a lie thinking that men wear pants and
    women wear skirts.

    The truth is that 2000 years ago God established the dress code for people. Both men
    and women were to wear skirts and dresses, but society had other plans. Society maligned
    that truth and parents bought into it, then they hand that lie down to their children who grow
    up and hand it down to their children and so on. Most everyone today is living that lie
    because society has maligned the truth and according to most parents, society rules!
    But society is wrong about this as well as most everything else too but at the expense of
    innocent children, society still rules!

    That’s why I am glad that these things are starting to change. A place called Utilikilts
    in Seattle posted an article about a school that has a day where the boys wear the
    skirts, even the male teachers have to participate. It is a very good thing that I’d like
    to see more of. Boys and men need to have the freedom to choose what they want
    to wear without society interference. Don’t let society rule your children because society
    is headed for the abyss!

  29. virginia veron Says:
    November 22nd, 2010 at 5:48 pm

    what a mother should find out is if his son is a transexual, or a travestite in order to help him. Life for transgreder people is very complicate. must people dont agree. so soon you get to know um so better. if is just a game, will go way, sonst, is a big problem.

  30. Kevin Says:
    December 30th, 2010 at 3:34 pm

    If you think that boys clothes can be worn by both and think boys should have the right to wear girls clothes go to this website http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/unisexclothing/donate

  31. Dino Says:
    January 9th, 2011 at 1:49 pm

    The child is happy and welladjusted after you did what therapist and that is good. Genders are different, deal with it. Also I think that if you are born like a girl you will always be a girl and vice versa.If you as a grown up choose to dress up then it is ok, but children should be thought what is appropriate. Never let them decide on their own, you are the parent. If they are confused about gender then they need therapy of course.

  32. Denise Peterson Says:
    February 6th, 2011 at 1:42 am

    I’d fire your therapist because she is dealing soley in what the majority dictates but not what is the truth. If everyone jumped off the bay bridge then would you jump too…would you tell your son to jump too? You may have gotten your son to agree not to wear dresses now but all you managed to do is create a closet wearer of dresses. Your therapist accomplished nothing except to give you and others temporary relief but just wait when your son is older because it could bite you back…it could manifest itself in ways that would cause you more discomfort than you never thought. It’s not about your pains of discomfort, you don’t count. Let me ask you, why have you placed such importance on clothes? Clothes are nothing but the spiritual welbeing of your child is very important so why have you place such an immense focus on something so un-important? Dogs are visual but people are spiritual so why are you trying to turn your son into a dog? Listen to your therapist and become dogs if you want or pick up the users manual…the bible, and learn what really is important and what really matters…know the truth!

  33. Chris Says:
    February 6th, 2011 at 6:36 pm

    I wear womens underwear and hosiery because they feel nice silky and soft against my skin. I dont hurt nobody I treat people the way I want to be treated it is just womens clothes are comfortable and nice. I am not gay and I think women are great.

  34. Jennifer Says:
    February 25th, 2011 at 11:18 am

    Very interesting. My nephew loved to play dressup with my daughter but then it seemed to be almost an obsession with him. It didn’t help that my sister totally indulged him. He’s past the age where he should be doing this but my sister is oblivious to the family’s concern. She loves to doll him up and delites in curling his hair and painting his nails. We are waiting for the day he won’t let her!

  35. Van Says:
    April 10th, 2011 at 7:29 pm


    I think your child’s psychologist is probably wrong!

    I am genetically male and I was in your Josh’s position a couple of decades ago.

    At 3, I was exploring my mom’s and my mom’s sisters’ clothes, accessories, shoes and makeup. I had a fantastic imagination.

    At 33 now, I am the director of product design at one of the top technology firms in the world. I designed some of the products you people every day of your lives and love to use. Many of your lives revolve around the technology I designed. I have double graduate degrees and a great career.

    I live a fantastic life from an observer’s perspective. However, I have had a harrowing experience with my gender because my family strongly discouraged me from exploring my feminine side during my early childhood.

    I love my parents and have always loved them. They told me when I was little that I was supposed to present as a boy at all times. I was not allowed to cook or sew or play with dolls or try on feminine items. I obeyed, because I loved my parents. I did not want to make them feel hurt. I loved them so much that I would cry if they did not return home from work on time.

    No matter how much you suppress Josh’s inner inclinations and no matter how much Josh suppresses his own inclinations, they will eventually come out.

    By the time I was 26, I could not take it any more. I approached a transformation service to help me be a girl for a day. That was the most relaxing day of my life. A huge relief!

    For the following years, I hung out in transgender circles, trying to figure out if I am transsexual. I started therapy and hormones. I lived as female full-time, and nobody (except HR managers) knew because I switched jobs and because I looked that convincingly female.

    It took me about 3 years of living as female to get over it. I now live as male, although I still crossdress sometimes as female.

    I am not interested in men sexually. I have always been attracted to women and I still am. However, for as long as I kept suppressing my feminine side, I could never convert my dates with women into relationships. The women always knew that I was hiding something, that I was being secretive about something, that I was not letting them into my life.

    Now I feel free. I finally have a meaningful relationship with a woman. I plan to ask her to marry me soon. Because I had saved my sperms before experimenting with hormones, we can have children even if my body does not produce good ones any more. The best part about our relationship is that she met me when I was presenting as female. She loves the person I am on the inside. And seeing her, my parents have come around too. They realize their mistake of hindering my self-expression when I was little.

    I hope you give Josh a better chance to be himself.

    Please consult more psychologists. You are making a mistake by not getting more opinions. I have met several psychologists while I struggled with my gender. I realize that there are about four schools of thought about gender experimentation among little children. You are presenting only one school of thought here. A Toronto psychologist is actually famous for his very restrictive thinking about gender exploration. Please look elsewhere too before you impose restrictions on your child.

    Even if Josh does not oppose you (just as I did not object to my parents when they restricted me and I never talked about my gender struggles with them), Josh probably has an interest in exploring. He is not necessarily gay or transsexual just because he crossdresses. Please do not let your fears and prejudices affect his later life.

    I hope this helps.


  36. Anshul Says:
    February 25th, 2012 at 7:58 am

    I am a boy an every day wear skirts,leggings,panties .
    I whenever go out i take out my skirt and wear trousers.
    But whenever i’m going nearby i go in legging with skirts or panties with skirts.
    but I don’t wear panties under leggings.

    My all friends wear these things.
    One day while playing i was adjusting my panties.
    One of friend asked me what are u doing I answered just adjusting my panties.
    That time i was i was in skirt , legging, and panties.
    He answered me.
    I like to wear girls clothing and i am not a gay.

  37. whitney Says:
    October 30th, 2012 at 10:10 am

    I talked my son into dressing as a girl for a halloween party when he was 9. Bought him the works at Walmart. When he got home from the party he stayed in the clothes the rest of the evening. I decided we should discuss it and he eventually admitted that he really enjoyed wearing the clothes. We came to an agreement that on occassion it wouid be okay to dress up at home only and should remain our secret. That was 3 yrs ago. He still occassionally will spend an evening in girls clothes, but it such a busy 12 yr old it’s not that often( about once a month). Funny thing is a couple times when shopping he decreatly pointed out a dress or shoes he liked. It’s been kinda fun and as far as I can see harmless.

  38. denise Says:
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:46 pm

    You better listen to your doctor so that you can remain ignorant and make sure that your son lives for other people because what he wants or needs does not count, he must do this to ensure a nurotic outlook on life which will ensure a nervous breakdown later in life…plus total failure of being human.

  39. Frank Says:
    February 17th, 2013 at 2:25 pm

    Why is it so wrong for a male to like wearing soft, pretty things, I do, Don’t you?

  40. Mocat Says:
    May 11th, 2013 at 7:13 pm

    How could you be so horrible. No child should ever have to compromise with society on such a benin matter as choice of clothing, and no adult should either for that matter! And by the way that therapist must be a quack.

  41. Lee Says:
    October 16th, 2013 at 10:59 am

    Just because you were successful at getting him to stop wearing what is considered to be feminine clothing, doesn’t mean the desire to do so has gone forever. He simply has recognized the tension that exists between the adults in his life, and decided to bury and hide his desires in order to bring peace among the adults in his life.

    Do we all think young boys are stupid. They look around the world about them and see that girls are free to wear and do absolutely anything they want. Yet when they do something so much as expressing a preference for the color pink they attract and suffer admonishment and chastisement beyond anyone’s imagination. Quite often they are accused of being gay or having some kind of gender dysphonia. They learn quickly to bury and hide their preferences for things that are considered feminine only to find themselves fighting a war inside themselves that often will lead to self medication with illegal drugs and eventually attempting or successfully committing suicide.

    Girls on the other hand are encouraged to kick down any gender barriers that may exist and take on and beat the boys at their own game. They are praised by everyone when they kick the boys butts. Women and girls can open up any males dresser drawer or closet door and put on any garment they find without anyone accusing them of having any kind of gender or emotional problem. Women and girls are free and young boys can see that and realize at the same time they are locked up in this little box called masculinity with all its rules about behavior, and they are never permitted to leave or escape for even a moment.

    Why are we so afraid to let boys find pleasure in what they wear? Why are we so afraid to let our boys feel pretty and desirable to look at? Are we afraid that they somehow will grow up to be weaklings, unable to defend the country if called to do so?

    If you think so then why are you not protesting women in the military? Today almost nearly every job in the military is open to women including many combat roles. Women are flying fighter’s, bomber’s, and helicopter’s. Does having wore dresses, skirts & blouses, or panties prevented any of them from doing their job in the military?

    Gender roles in society are changing in nearly every country in the world as women move into the positions of power and control that men used to enjoy almost exclusively. Men are now being encouraged to become stay-at-home fathers in situations where the wife earns enough money to do so. We are not afraid to let men take on the role of being the wife in the family taking care of the domestic duties, while the woman brings home the bacon.

    When I go shopping at the malls, or any social function, or even when going to church there is something vastly different from what I would have observed when I was a child. When I was a child women and girls wore skirts and dresses; men and boys wore pants. Today when I do these things nearly all the women and girls are wearing pants or some form a pant style garment. It is rare that I see a woman or girl wearing a skirt or dress. We don’t seem to have a problem with that.

    I personally am encouraged by the young mothers (and fathers) today that are not afraid to allow their young sons to experiment with wearing different clothing styles including dresses, skirts & blouses, even the pretty undergarments that girls get to wear.

  42. Tom Says:
    May 29th, 2014 at 10:37 am

    Rubbish. That psychologist ought to go see a psychologist.

  43. C.J. Says:
    December 4th, 2014 at 7:08 pm

    I wore girl clothes on and off for the 17 years of my life. I am a normal teenage boy with a good, strong relationship going with my girlfriend for three months now. Clothes don’t make people, I’m a walking example of that. The only difference between boy’s and girl’s clothes is the material, color, and the crotch.Clothes were originally designed for survival, now they’ve turned into something people think define humans. As for what that doctor said, it seems idiotic, the only thing five year olds know is girls usually have longer hair; they know nothing else, so how does it affect them? So These days when a girl steps out. of the norm people just say “Good job!” when a boy does it (this is from my own personal experience of reactions) they look at you like you just pulled off a baby’s head and used it to choke someone.Sorry, my mind can go dark like that. If it’s as you said, then don’t worry either way. Jusr remember that a human being is just a human being at their center.

  44. Gail Says:
    December 7th, 2014 at 5:28 am

    A lot of what I read is BS. I am a 75 y/o male with three children and nine grandchildren. And, I have and still do wear women’s clothing. It started when I was 10 y/o. My mother needed something to test her sewing on. She was a seamstress and was making dresses for the girls at school. I was put in panties, garter belt with nylons, hi-heels, bra and sometimes a nylon or satin slip most everyday. I finally got to where I enjoyed it so much, that I would dress every day after school, and later often would wear lingerie to school under my male clothing. By the way I am male, never had a gay experience I am writing this dressed in pink nylon panties, black satin garter belt attached to beige colored nylons, Aqua satin /lace bra, and long silk night gown So, in most cases I would not worry. And by the way my wife and I had two boys that when they reached 10 we offered panties, the panties were placed in their drawer, and over a period of 1-2 years they were never moved. I dressed in lingerie and some times a dress or stretch white pants (that my wife purchased for me) (the pants were thin so that if you looked you could see my pink panties) every day after work, my children and their friends saw me dressed.

  45. Dianne L. Says:
    December 19th, 2014 at 9:30 pm

    Our son and daughter are 3 years apart,with the daughter the oldest.We are catholic and finially had both of them baptized when they were 14 and 11 at easter vigil. We dressed the daughter in the traditional,white,poofy,top of the knees dress with a matching bonnet,lace anklets, and white ‘mary jane’ shoes.under her dress we did the standard cloth baptismal diaper with white,blousy fitting rubberpants over it and a tee shirt.the son wore the normal suit and tie.Later that following week,i came home from shopping and the son was home from school and i walked into his room and caught him with his sisters baptism outfit on,including the diaper and rubberpants!I asked him what he was doing and he admitted that he liked the way sis looked and wanted to try on her outfit and look like a baby like she did.I made him take the outfit off and then told him he had to wear sis’s diaper and rubberpants for a week.when the daughter got home from school,i made the son tell her what he did and that he has to wear her diaper and rubberpants for a week and she said she agreed with it.Dad then spanked the son when he got home from work.

  46. Valerie m. Says:
    March 20th, 2015 at 5:36 pm

    I am the mom of a 10 year old daughter with a different problem,she likes to wear cloth baby diapers and plastic pants!She made her First holy communion 2 years ago at age 8 and per the parish dress code,all the girls had to wear a cloth diaper and plastic pants under their white tights with their communion dresses and veils.She liked wearing the diaper and rubberpants under her tights and has worn them at christmas and easter and for a wedding!she told me she likes the feeling they give her of being like a baby! What do i do,she wants to keep on wearing them.

  47. karen Says:
    April 27th, 2015 at 8:47 pm

    To valerie m-I have the same problem as you only my daughter is 15!she has a best friend,taylor,who is a bedwetter and wears cloth diapers and rubberpants to bed at night and my daughter wears them also when she slleeps over at taylors house and now taylor gave her some of her cloth diapers and two pair of rubberpants and now she is wearing them after school and also to bed even tho she is not a wetter!she told me she just likes wearing them and feeling like a baby.

  48. admin Says:
    April 28th, 2015 at 4:18 am

    To Valerie,

    I would suggest to consult your doctor or a family planning organization to find out the best therapy for your daughter (if she needs it). It appears your daughter does not want to grow up. This sentiment is not abnormal in its own, but combined with wearing diapers is somewhat odd. Possibly it is just a phase, but it doesn’t hurt to look for a professional assessment of the situation.

  49. Deedee Says:
    September 5th, 2015 at 6:35 pm

    Some boys are just drawn to it! I don’t know if it is a XY imbalance, but they seem to know at an early age they were meant to be girly. If that is how he feels, I would do nothing to change that, and if he wanted, I would be very happy to help him look and act girly, even if it meant he wanted to change genders, I would help and encourage “her”.

  50. Deedee Says:
    September 26th, 2015 at 3:53 pm

    I believe in the near future this won’t be much of an issue. There are already “non-gendered” models who are world famous. Cosplay is another sign of changing attitudes. Many countries in the world now embrace non-specific gender, Japan leading the way. An Asian airline now has an entire group of trans-gendered stewardesses. More and more men are being born with less masculine features, and more and more of them are becoming trans-gendered. There are unisex clothes, jewelry, watches, even make-up for men. More and more men are keeping their bodies clean shaven and using products to keep their skin soft and youthful. Just look on the Web, at how many sites are dedicate to young trans-genders, some are now being accepted in schools and living as females.

    In another 5 years I think we will be seeing ads for more and more “unisex” clothing, stores will start carrying more such items and the stigma will slowly disappear. Some women will always prefer the “Alpha” males but more and more women are opting for gentler, less “Macho” men, and some of them are already “sharing” their wardrobes….

  51. Deedee Says:
    September 26th, 2015 at 3:56 pm

    I should have added, it truly is becoming a “womans world!!”

  52. tim Says:
    April 21st, 2016 at 6:28 am

    What to do. Deep down inside many men wish to wear women’s clothes. I am one of them. From as young as I can remember, I’ve worn tights and leotards. Any chance to dress as a girl – Halloween, school plays, dressup games & parties. I don’t see myself as the stereotypical transvestite in stockings and heels nor do I see myself as gay (just me- not judging) nor do I even see myself as feminine. I like to do guy things – ride motor bikes and play footie and go camping. I just also like to wear womens clothes and I wish it were socially acceptable. But it’s not so I just wear them under my clothes and only I know.

  53. clarice a. Says:
    October 22nd, 2016 at 7:26 am

    To Karen and Valerie-I feel that your daughters wanting to wear the diapers and rubberpants are no different than the boys wanting to wear dresses and panties,etc.As the mom of three beautiful teen daughters,all a little over a year apart,all three of them have worn diapers as teens for various occasions and even slumber parties!They wore cloth diapers and rubberpants in weddings as flower girls,for their First Communions,Easter,Christmas,Confirmation,etc.and they told me that the diapers and rubberpants made them feel cute and little girlish.All three of them have been to slumber parties where all the girls wore diapers and acted like babies to have fun and be cute.I feel it is more natural for girls to wear diapers than it is for boys to wear dresses.

  54. linda D. Says:
    December 24th, 2016 at 9:11 am

    To Clarice A.,Karen and Valerie-My daughter is 16 and a girly girl and also likes wearing a diaper and rubberpants for holidays and special occasions.She has worn them under her easter dresses and christmas dresses for the past years since she was a little girl.She doesn’t do the cloth diapers,only the size 8 pampers cruisers for teens,with the rubberpants over it.Last fall when she was confirmed,our parish requires the white,poofy,short sleeve,floor length dresses and veil with gloves,tights and white shoes for all the girls.The morning of the ceremony,she put on one of the pampers size 8,then put her rubberpants on over it,then the tights,and a camisole,then her dress ,veil,shoes and gloves.She looked gorgeous in the outfit and told me later that the pampers and rubberpants made her feel more pure in her white outfit.

  55. samuelf Says:
    April 29th, 2017 at 2:12 pm

    Este es mi mejor argumento, y sustento, o soporte racional de por que es mas SALUDABLE, CÓMODO, Y DECENTE QUE UN VARÓN SE VISTA CON FALDAS.
    El pantalón fue utilizado para discriminar, y humillar a la mujer; (es la prenda mas exhibicionista y sexista que se haya utilizado; y en especial para el varon, pues la anatomía de la mujer es diferente, y un pantalón en la mujer no es tan INSINUANTE, ni tan exhibicionista como en el hombre. Lo mas decente, cómodo, y SALUDABLE para vestirse un varon es una falda o un vestido con falda.

    Por tradición los hombres desde siempre se habían vestido con faldas, solo hace 300 años que los obligaron a usar pantalón.

    El pantalón es la prenda menos adecuada para un hombre; el calzoncillo bóxer, hace las veces de férula en los genitales, (propiciando mal funcionamiento, y discapacidades), la costura central del pantalón maltrata, magulla e incomoda todo el tiempo los genitales; la correa o cinturón hace las veces de torniquete, y obliga al corazón a bombear la sangre con mayor esfuerzo, (para vencer la contracción que hace el torniquete), y por mala irrigacion sanguínea afecta: el aparato digestivo, el sistema urinario, el aparato reproductor. Ademas con el uso del pantalón el hombre ha terminado orinando de pie lo cual es totalmente antinatural. Las Faldas y los vestidos con faldas para los hombres son suprema-mente SALUDABLES, CÓMODOS Y CONFORTABLES. El pantalón, el calzoncillo ajustado, la costura central del pantalón, y la correa o cinturón, están promoviendo las enfermedades modernas de los hombres: IMPOTENCIA, ESTERILIDAD, PROBLEMAS DE LA PRÓSTATA Y POSIBLEMENTE CÁNCER DEL TESTÍCULO.

    Ninguna parte del cuerpo del varon se maltrata mas que los genitales.

    Por salud y comodidad mejor usar FALDAS O VESTIDOS CON FALDA

  56. Wayne Thompson Says:
    March 11th, 2018 at 7:39 pm

    I would let him wear what ever he wants even if it is a skirt or dresses becaese I have a son that wears dresses,skirts,tights just like his sisters do

  57. lynn oliver Says:
    March 21st, 2018 at 9:43 pm

    I feel we are seeing very real effects from others regarding the belief boys should be strong and girls protected/supported. When a boy feels more comfortable dressing as a girl, I feel he could be feeling positive idea of experiencing more protection, support, love, care, attention, etc. that he feels he may not receive as a boy. The belief boys should be strong allows more aggressive treatment “from teachers/others” as is allowed by society to make them tough. There is also much less kindness, care, kind verbal interaction, and other protections for fear of coddling. I feel children at a young age really feel those differences in treatment. Those persons who oppose boys dressing as girls appear to be so intent on making boys tough, they will not tolerate a boy who wishes to escape the more harsh treatment boys as they see it, must undergo to make them tough. Too bad the the more harsh treatment given boys is creating many shortcoming in the information age, while the much more kind, stable, verbal interaction, and many other supports from parents, teachers, and peers are creating so many good things for us as girls and women. We must see those boys as not gay but simply attempting to create as they see it, a more stable, caring environment within the usually more harsh environment they would experience as boys. Mind you the great differential treatment of much more kind, stable, caring treatment from parents, teachers, others is allowing us as girls and women to do much better in school and the information age than our male peers. So perhaps, those boys, despite the ignorance of those who wish to force boys into masculinity are seeking a more proper view of how we should all be treated in terms of more kind, caring, protective, and supportive treatment. Too bad boys are being attacked for not going along with such harsh treatment.